News From The Farm 1

In relation to last weeks story regarding the Paper Towel Bomber we bring this latest news update:

Convict Connected to the Paper Towel Bombing Escapes From Prison.

Police are offerring a reward for information on his whereabouts. The reward will depend on the species providing info.

The suspect in last weeks paper towel bombing was detained at the Crook County Courthouse and upon further questioning was incarcerated. Bail was set at 50 cans of tuna fish.

The convict is known as Thomas "Trapezius" TiggerTail, a once well known member of the StringLing Bros Tarnished and Taily Circus.

Thomas Trapezius 2001

Late last evening Thomas escaped and is believed to be in the smelly area of Fish Bone Alley. Police have dispatched a search team.

Officer Glenn Retardo was the first one at the scene of the paper towel bombing. He sustained serious injuries while apprehending the bomber and was in critical condition.

Paramedics had arrived shortly at the scene but unfortunately, their supplies had been stolen so they had no tourniquets or trauma bandages. Residents supplied makeshift bandages which were amazingly able to stop the hemmorrhaging. Officer Retardo reported that the wounds were gushing and spurting, and he felt faint. He is expected to fully recover and return to duty.

Also sometime last evening, an armchair bomb was set off in the quiet residential area of Lake Doraville.

One eye witness at the scene was Tikki Tembo.

She was able to snap this picture of the suspect before he escaped:

Earlier in the day at the same residence, there was a garbage can explosion.

The same eyewitness was able to snap this picture of the suspects before they escaped.

Investigators believe the events are connected and the same culprits are involved. Homeland Security was called in and will be closely monitoring the area.

Residents or passersby are encouraged to call 1-800-GET-THATCAT! with any information.

Picture of the Day:

Devoted reader Gayand Lesbianrights sent this picture of a male couple celebrating their long awaited right to marry in Minnesota.

Stay tuned for the next edition of News From the Farm.