Breaking News, Live from Doraville.......
Police were summoned to a home on the 1600 block of 400th street on the report of a vagrant pilfering the family honey pot ....
The county SWAT team was dispatched immediately to investigate.
The birdpertrator paid no head, apparently oblivious to the mayhem he had caused.
He was wingcuffed and taken to the avian incarceration unit at the county jailhouse.
In response to the event, National Security has issued a bulletin advising residents
to keep their homes and belongings locked up at all times due to the increase in vagrant
pilfering incidents sweeping across the nation.
In preparation for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro,
Doraville residents Thomas Trapezious and Soks are heavily working towards winning the gold for Olympic Napping.
This ends our special broadcast and we will return to the regular scheduled program after these sponsored messages......
Retardo awards, coming up next.
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